As a kid, I loved the bible, comics and superheroes, and football. I knew every starter and most of the backups in the NFL. I could name all 32 QBs faster than I said my ABCs. Could I do this now? Most likely that would be a no. I started using this knowledge to feel close to people. Like if I could hold my own in conversation, there could be bonding. Sometimes I just felt lost as a kid. I just wanted to be close to someone. I guess it was weird, sometimes I just wanted to touch someone’s hand to see if they would hold it. I was not a weird child, but when I was a kid, I had a love language of hugs, holding hands and I lived for ‘positive’ affirmations. I probably annoyed many a girlfriends in movies or church growing up interlacing my fingers and hand with theirs over and over. It was just the sense of safety I felt that I hadn’t had in a long time. I remember asking my mom one time as I sat in the back of her old gold station wagon, ‘Am I an alien Mom?’ Of course not, she chuckled and replied, ‘No sweetie, of course not. You’re so silly.’ I was grinding my teeth is what it was, and I thought I was a robot or alien or something. At night I would sit up until late just thinking about everything. Like that day I saw a grocery clerk at the store, and I said ‘Hey’ I wondered…. Did I look stupid? The way I said it, did I stutter or slur. I had these constant thoughts. I was just hyper aware of everything and my brain would never just stop, be at peace. I didn’t realize how much anxiety and nervousness I had until I grew up.